Get out of your head and into your body.

Harsh truth alert: we are the biggest barrier to our own pleasure. And we aren’t just talking about sexual pleasure. All pleasure. From enjoying a vacation to feeling confident in our clothes to eating a delicious meal to having an orgasm, our inability to get out of our head and into our body is a total buzz kill. Or pleasure kill in this case.

The quest for pleasure begins with self-exploration. If we don’t know what brings us pleasure, how can we share and teach others about our desires, wants, boundaries and needs?

So how do we flip the script on our busy brains and move from doing and thinking to being and feeling? Embodiment.

Embodiment is an awareness of how we experience physical and emotional sensations and how those sensations translate to movement in our body. It is the foundation and expression of sensation and pleasure. It can look like feeling the tremble of nervousness or excitement, the tightness of unease, or the electric energy exchange of touch.

Embodiment makes visible our mood, personality, feeling, story, and culture. Movement and body language communicate our state more clearly than our words. If interactions are a transaction of energy first and words second, and we know that we attract what we put out, then it’s key to understand with the energy we embody is communicating. Sexy is an energy and a mindset, not a physical attribute.

Just like all good things, embodiment and pleasure require presence and continual practice. They ask that we stay connected to what’s happening inside us and how our body is physically reacting to it. And they demand we get curious about ourselves to discover our needs, wants and desires.

Our best advice in the pleasure quest: DO YOU.
Try these exercises to start exploring yourself…

Lay the foundation. Consider the key components of pleasure and how you uniquely need them met: Safety. Confidence. Communication. Consent. Explore what each of these feel and look like for you.
Build a framework. Think back to some of your most pleasurable moments - they don’t have to be sexual. Detail the environment, feeling and journey and build your pleasure framework by integrating those elements into your daily routine.
Create a pleasure map. Devote time to exploring what you enjoy in and out of the bedroom: buying fresh flowers, wearing beautiful lingerie, eating delicious food, taking sensual self-portraits, spending time in nature and exploring your body with intention and taking note of areas of focus. Turn these things into your personal pleasure map to keep for yourself or share with future partners. Consider these questions as you map your pleasure:

What always brings a smile to my face? music? flowers? soft fabrics? candles? massage? Make a list to help create a mood.
What makes me feel safe and in my body? movement? stillness? warmth? clothing? nakedness? fullness? hunger? Make a list to understand your needs.
Do I actively listen to my body?
What parts of my body do I tend to the most?
What parts of my body need nurturing?
What parts of my body crave touch?
What parts of my body reject touch?
What parts of my body make me feel sexy? Powerful? Strong?

Self-exploration is a starting point on an individual journey to empowerment. The sexual aspect of our human experience is an ongoing and evolving process so self-exploration should never end. Stay in it.